Not that kind

Whatever I am I’m not an alpha mom. I mean, I guess I do all the ‘right things’. Or the popular things, or the trendy things or the eco friendly things, or the research supported things, or what-have-you. I don’t feel perfect or even most of the time as if I’m doing the right thing. For example I second guess not sleep training all the time. I know it won’t work for us. My daughter will scream for hours. And as I found last night she’ll vomit too. Not because we were trying to sleep train her or anything, but because she was already screaming due to feeling unwell and it kind of crescendoed into vomiting.

But people tell me all the time, oh starve her overnight (they don’t need to eat at night), let her cry (she’ll get the hint, she’s manipulating you), do this do that. And I kind of hang my head and shrug because I know it won’t work and I don’t want to try, but then I wonder, what if it will, what if they are right? What if I’m being miserable because of faulty instincts? I second guess myself all the time. I’m hardly confident about our choices as most of them were made from a ‘well, that seems to work’ stand point. I think what most makes me not an alpha mom is that lack of confidence that I’m doing the right thing. I’m not going to be preaching that my way is the right way. There are no awards to be won, so I’m not competing.

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